Morris wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night. He picks up his bathrobe from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra. He thinks: "What the hell -- what happened last night?" He walks towards the bathroom and finds a pair of panties in the other pocket of his robe. Again he thinks: "What happened last night? It must have been a wild party." He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is: "Please, if there's a God, please let this be a teabag." |
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A wild party
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Freshman in football team
A jumbo-size freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said: "Hell yeah, get a load of this!" and with that, he knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.
The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied: "Hell yeah!" and he sprinted from end zone to end zone like lightning.
The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said: "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said: "Hell yeah, if I can swallow it, I can pass it!"
The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied: "Hell yeah!" and he sprinted from end zone to end zone like lightning.
The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said: "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said: "Hell yeah, if I can swallow it, I can pass it!"
Monday, September 28, 2009
ow many women can a man marry?
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him: "How many women can a man marry?"
"16." the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said, "all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 'Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer'.
"16." the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said, "all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 'Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer'.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Two Irish farmers
Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price they'd paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with.
"See!" said one. "I told you we should have gotten a bigger truck!"
"See!" said one. "I told you we should have gotten a bigger truck!"
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