The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff,
"Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?"
"Course not," replied the Sheriff. "We just put the rope round your neck and kick the horse away. After that it's up to you."
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Went to a nightclub
One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us.
"Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought.
Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade."
"Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought.
Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade."
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Men Jokes
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I am surprised
An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctor's only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate.
1.His Doctor
2.His Priest
3.His Lawyer
"Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave."
After the man passed on, the 3 people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested."
The priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the
church. It's all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."
Well, the lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!"
1.His Doctor
2.His Priest
3.His Lawyer
"Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave."
After the man passed on, the 3 people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested."
The priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the
church. It's all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."
Well, the lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!"
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